I'm the daddy in this situation.

Peter Pan wasn't actually fucking cool, you twat.

I don't care about your "narcissistic addictive" personality bullshit, you aren't fucking special, you're just another asshole like everyone else. But you never really thought about that did you. Oh, you read the fancy books and have damage, and your stand-up routine is gonna totally kill when you're done, and really understand baggage. You've done all the existential awareness drugs and OMG is your sensory deprovation place the fucking best! We get it, you're a fucking hipster who thinks he's funny but is just another little annoying little lost boy with daddy issues who thinks being respectful is the same as having responsibility for someone and you lash out like a fucking toddler. No, you can't just cancel our plans without telling me and have me not be upset. When we make plans together and you suddenly decide you want to go to the gym instead, you actually have to speak up instead of just packing up and heading off like I'm not FUCKING STANDING NEXT TO YOU.

Speaking of daddy issues, you're a fucking fantastic liar. I always thought I could tell, but it was the deep ones I didn't see. For all your fucking talk about protecting your mom and how much you admired her for pulling off the single mom thing, and how shitty it got when your dad left...you really want to be just like him. Fuck long term anything, that's just "not your style", and fuck ever having to be accountable to anyone, because you just want to be the lone wolf living in the forest writing your totally deep and prize winning novel you haven't fucking started. The perpetual bachelor who can blow everyone off to do whatever the fuck he wants and never deal with the fall out. After how much you talked about how much that hurt your mother, this is how you fucking act? I hope she slaps the shit out of you. 

God I wish I could too.

Sincerely,

Not fucking Wendy Darling!

Liar, liar, I want to set you on fire.

Listen up, douche-bag.

The only thing I ever asked from you was honestly. It's really not that hard just say what you fucking mean and don't promise shit you don't intend to follow through on. If you didn't want me to meet your family, you should have stopped telling me how much you wanted me to meet her and pretending to schedule dates. Just be like, I'm not ready for that yet. Was it so fucking hard? I didn't need you pretending you wanted me on your family vacation, I DIDN'T BRING IT UP OR EXPECT TO GO, SO STOP INVITING PEOPLE TO SHIT AND TAKING IT BACK! This isn't fucking second grade, you imbecile.You're almost 30. If I'd had to deal with one more of your bullshit stories or things you don't want and will never follow through on, you'd get booted off the nearest cliff. 

Sincerely,

An actual semi grown-up

The Ghost of My Stupid Awful Life Choices

You watched Casper a lot as a kid, right?

You know what really kills me? You didn't have to meet my family, or dump me less than a week later. You didn't have to check in on me or ever reach out. You didn't have to promise me how you'd be there, not in the way I deserved but you'd still do it. Those shouldn't have been the last words you ever said to me. I didn't fucking need to live with the knowledge that even my almost death wasn't enough to get you to be honest or care about me as a friend. But what's even stupider than that is that for every drunk asshole thing you said, and every toddler meltdown you had, I believed you when you'd tell me you didn't mean it, that being with me was the happiest you've ever been, and that you were in it, completely open ended. I trusted you. The one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do ever again. But I was the fucking moron who trusted you to mean it all. I trusted you to stay.

Go fuck yourself, and why the fuck did you suddenly sign up at the gym I introduced you to?!?

Sincerely,
An utter fool who wants to stab herself in the eye with a rusty spoon just to forget you

Maybe you should fucking listen, honey

What the actual fuck, dude? 

Six months later and my brain is still reverberating from the fucking acrobatics you put it through. Do I look like a gymnast to you? Nah, so WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?

Why the fuck did you have to fall apart about how much you weren't the guy I thought you were and how much you were lying about how nice and caring you were? You chose to be nice to me and talk to me as much as you did and invite me to everything. I never once asked, so you did it because you wanted to in whatever fucking way that was. But oh, "I'm not the guy you think I am". Bitch please. Did it ever enter your mind for one second that I was with you because of the asshole, self medicating, self improvement obsessed weirdo you were? Because maybe if you'd actually listened when I talked, you'd know I was just as fucked up as you and it was fucking fantastic to be with someone who got it. 

Sincerely,

A hot fucking mess who actually liked you