The Ghost of My Stupid Awful Life Choices

You watched Casper a lot as a kid, right?

You know what really kills me? You didn't have to meet my family, or dump me less than a week later. You didn't have to check in on me or ever reach out. You didn't have to promise me how you'd be there, not in the way I deserved but you'd still do it. Those shouldn't have been the last words you ever said to me. I didn't fucking need to live with the knowledge that even my almost death wasn't enough to get you to be honest or care about me as a friend. But what's even stupider than that is that for every drunk asshole thing you said, and every toddler meltdown you had, I believed you when you'd tell me you didn't mean it, that being with me was the happiest you've ever been, and that you were in it, completely open ended. I trusted you. The one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do ever again. But I was the fucking moron who trusted you to mean it all. I trusted you to stay.

Go fuck yourself, and why the fuck did you suddenly sign up at the gym I introduced you to?!?

Sincerely,
An utter fool who wants to stab herself in the eye with a rusty spoon just to forget you